precious and dear, you will always be

JEDI

Feb 22 1998 – April 14 2013

I watched as you and all your sisters were born right before my eyes. It was a surprise. We didn’t know your mama was pregnant. As a twelve year old girl I just was so fascinated and excited to see all of you born…ALL girls…so adorable. I spent my waking hours just sitting with you, watching you, video taping you, cuddling you. You were the last one to be born. We couldn’t keep you all… so we chose… YOU. My family is so silly about the number 22… with so many of us being born on the 22nd. And then you came along. You always loved to jump into my laundry…to squeeze and dig your way into a small little nook… laundry day was your favorite day because you loved making a bed for yourself… all snuggled and cozy.  You were my companion from birth to death literally. You comforted me through good and bad…always sensing my sadness through the years. But, also sensing my joy and high pitched squeaks of excitement… you shared in my excitement. Your spirit was so joyful, gentle, and silly. Not a mean bone or growl in your body.  I held you so close and so tight from your first breaths to your last breaths. In your last days, you were so so sick…and my heart was broken each night because I felt so helpless. Your doctor and groomer were so good to you, and they knew you by name. My heart broke into pieces to let you go, but the joy you gave me was so incredibly special. You were so sick, and I hope you did not suffer too much. I love you lil mama. Your whole family loves you. We were all so sad to see you go. I wish I could’ve had you forever, but I knew that day would come when I had to face the fact that it was just impossible. Our adventures and love will always be in my heart. I will cherish everything…including  the footage my dad found of all the puppies… with my twelve year old voice narrating your arrival.

I made you a garden baby Jedi, and it’s beautiful. And your peonies have just bloomed. There are no words to express how much joy, love, and sadness I have in my heart. I miss you. I love you.

Your mama, Erin

*If you’d like to read the whole story about Jedi, you can read it in this post*

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